It has been said that stress is that which happens when our needs are not met.

But do we all know our own needs? Do we know the needs of our closest family and friends?

And if we know all about those needs, do we apply what we know?

Here are the six most common needs we all can relate to in some way. Note that these needs and the beliefs about the best ways to meet them differ from person to person.


  1. The need to have order, certainty, predictability and consistency. This explains why the roller coaster economy can be upsetting for some; why we stay attached to what we value rather than letting go of that which we cannot control. The constant change and uncertainty—seemingly getting more frequent these days—is a major cause of needs not being met. Many doctors deal with the physical manifestations of this stress.
  2. The need to not be bored. Some of us are stressed by the monotony of our regular schedules and habits. We thirst for variety and escapes—thus explaining why the entertainment industry is so popular.
  3. Many of us find that we have a need to stay in community with those we value. We talk about a tribe who understands our language. Being alone has its place but always being alone can be unhealthy to the spirit and the soul.
  4. Books on being on purpose are often best-sellers. Job satisfaction is rare. Excitement about our identity and our calling is rare. Why? Because too many of us are stressed by the fact that what we do, too often fail to match our desires and dreams. We are not aligned with our true calling.
  5. People who feel that they have a need to contribute, but when their ideas are rejected, and they fail to resonate with those they try to help they become stressed. We want to make a difference and contribute to making the world a better place. When that need is not met we become frustrated and tired.
  6. The only time we grow is when we have trouble—as a marathon runner, having done over 100 marathons, I know that getting fitter brings joy and this growth only happens when we endure, over-come, and reach enlightenment. Growth takes place in gymnasiums where we have a trainer who provides us with a blueprint. Think of troubles as a mental work-out. Whether we like it or not troubles are certain but so is the opportunity to grow and help others grow.

So what now?

Take 15 minutes to sit back once a week, and review where you fit into the above list. Work with your top two needs. By first knowing your own true identity you then are better able to meet the needs of others and in the process you move forward….one day at a time.

Move forward in love, joy and peace.

2018-03-13T08:47:32+00:00 September 19th, 2016|Inspirational|